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Stuff Gay People Like
By Jennifer 8. Lee | April 12, 2008
My friend Geoff Upton sent out a birthday invite for his party, called Stuff Gay People like, a play on Stuff White People Like.
Come help me belatedly celebrate my 31st birthday with a celebration of Stuff Gay People (okay, Gay Men) Like:
8. Dance mixes of pop hits.Gay people love it when DJs remix and speed up a Top 40 hit, preferably by a black female recording artist. (Gay people especially go crazy for remixes of Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston and, lately, Rihanna. Although she is not black, gay people also cherish Kelly Clarkson.)
7. Low-carb foods.
Gay people as a rule do not eat more carbs than necessary, especially after 6 p.m. (except when drunk). Hence, you will find gay people discarding burger buns and shunning toast at their favorite meal, brunch. At parties, gay people may completely ignore any food presented, even carrot sticks. Gay people will also go to great lengths to avoid drinking carbs, such as the Rum-and-Diet.
6. Tight spaces.
All I’m saying is that my apartment is small.
5. Corona beer.
Gay people love Corona for no apparent reason. Perhaps it is the light taste or the very gay “twist of lime” that goes with it.
4. Straight women.
No gay man’s life would be complete without a small army of straight women to listen to stories about his love life, accompany him while shopping and generally help him through the phases of life they mastered somewhere between ages 13 and 21.
3. Hell’s Kitchen.
Hell’s Kitchen remains the hottest place in New York City (and, thus, the world) for gay people to live. Historically, gay people prefer convenient yet ungentrified neighborhoods where they are actually welcomed as a force for good. Since there are still some unrenovated brownstones and sketchy blocks in Hell’s Kitchen, the gays have not yet moved on.
2. Cosmopolitans.
Forever the drink of choice of most gay people, especially when in a “gay” mood, this pink drink was created by gays in Provincetown, Mass. Its prominent placement in “Sex and the City” has secured the cosmo’s position as gay people’s favorite cocktail at least as long as reruns appear on TBS.
1. Other gay men.
Gay people like each other (except when they hate each other). This is why gay people spend a lot of time in gay bars, gay sports leagues, gay resort towns and gay neighborhoods. Gay people, it seems, cannot get enough of each other — which makes sense given that homosexuality is an attraction to one’s own kind.
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